Great reflective prompts. I do think that we are all burnt out. I don’t believe having our phones with us 24/7 and with various methods in which people can contact you. I think it creates social fatigue but doesn’t fill the social cup. ☕️ 🫖
I used to look for validation from my father, having never received it in childhood and then one day I just stopped, realising he would never change, and I became really, really low contact. Then he died and the sense of relief was immense. But it does mean that I can now publish all my angsty thoughts and feelings about him. I wish I’d had the courage when he was alive as a sort of yah boo sucks to him.
I think I’ve learnt now to appreciate myself for myself. It’s nice to get positive feedback but not necessary. I recently posted about my first poem at 13, one that sat in my notebook with a massive DO NOT PUBLISH next to it. And I took that step and published it anyway expecting people to not like it and some did. That was good.
Is Substack bigger than me, I want to say of course it is - physically it is, it holds more words than I do, more ideas day to day. But my corner in it is small and and comfortable. Am I bigger than Substack, yes of course I am, it is not ‘necessary’ but useful, whereas I am both necessary AND useful. 😜
You sound extremely courageous getting through that childhood Tamsin. Must’ve been really confusing for you.
DO NOT PUBLISH (I’m looking at you, adult version of me!) 😂 Love that.
I don’t know anything of physics. I’m a romantic Tamsin I have galaxies inside me inside which are libraries where substack may make up a shelf or two. 🌌💖
Ah yes, that was the impression I failed to get across. That inside is a Tardis. That whilst in the real world Substack seems huge (people words etc) it’s nothing compared to the human experience of being oneself. (I was shattered last night and excuse my inadequate waffling on that).
I don’t use any other social media, I only use Substack but I find myself bumping up against the same patterns. How do I consume consciously? How do I not let myself be guided by the dopamine hit waiting for me if I check it? How do I share honestly and authentically? How do I create space for boredom and not cram every minute full? All questions I’ve been asking this week.
Putting replies in the general thread 🧵 instead of actually replying to someone is fast becoming my calling card. Sorry Emma 🤦♂️
🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
That’s good that you’ve mindfully identified your patterns Emma.
They are all beautiful lines of enquiry. 👏🏼☺️
I think safety is a good place to start from. Just checking in and asking if I feel safe in the world. And if not how can I get my needs met so that I do feel safe.
I’m much less reactive from this deeply embodied sense of feeling safe in the world. 🙏
There are worse calling cards to have! Yes, I love those inquiries around safety and what can I don’t meet my own needs, when I focus on that, I am less reactive as well.
That’s good that you’ve mindfully identified your patterns Emma.
They are all beautiful lines of enquiry. 👏🏼☺️
I think safety is a good place to start from. Just checking in and asking if I feel safe in the world. And if not how can I get my needs met so that I do feel safe.
I’m much less reactive from this deeply embodied sense of feeling safe in the world. 🙏
Slow reads is such a wonderful discovery. As a writer who always has plenty to say about what she writes and reads (sometimes too much, I fear), any reader contribution is welcomed, however small.
The older I get, the less I need validation from others. In fact I even find it irritating these days. I have found myself trying to create a substack that meets the needs of others assuming that's what I need to do to be successful here. But i I find I can't do it that way because I don't have the energy for it.
I've had a break from it the last few weeks and am rethinking it all.... Who do I really want to be here?
Love the three or four pages on a big day David. 😂😊 I have not read many of the Russian classics but the ones I did read were much more interesting than I thought they would be.
Validation is such a tricky one - we are socialised and wired to want it - yet doing our own thing and trusting ourselves requires the opposite. I take it one situation at a time!
So much to think about here, David. Thanks for sharing.
I love the idea of a slow read-along because I can be very slow to read at times , though not always because it's a part of my job – those I have to read fast, so that's perhaps why those I read for pleasure are often slow reads.
I certainly feel like burnout is my constant now. Currently trying to figure out a plan for taking a break while also adding intentional slowdown practices into my everyday life.
When it’s constant there’s probably a sense of not feeling safe at the heart of it Melissa-Jane…does that sound related? Not you as such but your nervous system. ??
I think my next post will be on ‘drivers’. The things that compel us to run a million miles a hour internally…even when externally it looks like we live a slow paced life. 🤔
Yes, absolutely. I've always been an anxious person, to be fair, and there are lots of reasons for that, but some extra recent things that are adding to it all I suppose.
Thank you so much for your kindness, David. Looking forward to your next post <3
Anxiety is an awful feeling so I have tremendous compassion for anyone going through it. It’s tempting to try and stay one step ahead of it and I think that’s where the burn out comes from. 🏃🏽♀️
Anxiety is really a call from the body to come home to the body. 🏡
Just gentle things like feeling you have your feet on the ground and remembering that the earth is there to support you (always). You’re not on your own. 🌳
Ooh that makes sense. I do feel like I'm always trying to be on top of things to try to keep anxiety at bay but more things just pop up. It's all never-ending, of course. Always more things to add to the list. Trying to incorporate some slowing down moments.
Tree hugging isn’t very fashionable thing to admit to 😆 but nobody ever came away from a tree not feeling better. 🥰 Trees have that quality that we’re all searching for…simply being. Even plants can settle our nerves if just sit and softly stare at them. None of this makes sense to our minds of course…it all seems too simple to be believable.
Actually, in my culture it's so important to tread lightly on the earth and to respect all living things because they contain the essence of the ancestors. So, I'm all for tree hugging! :D Just placing my hand on a tree gives me a sense of calm.
“I have this underlying fear that my lack of formal education leaves me ill-equipped to enrich the discourse. Occasionally, I muster a throwaway remark or a sparse handful of emojis, but the weight of my inadequacy looms large.”
This one line struck more than any other. How many others are thinking the same thing? And if you, in your “inadequacy” post a simple thought, YOUR thought without presumption, how many others might follow suit and open up the discussion to a more simple and heartfelt level. This isn’t to say the refined and educated distillations of the work aren’t valid, but there are more ways than one to read, enjoy, and discuss a book.
I have been having this exact thought for at least a year. Since the pandemic, my tolerance for bullshit has dramatically waned. I feel like my nervous system has been permanently reset to both a higher and lower baseline, which makes no rational sense, but I feel the truth of it in my bones.
I loved reading this essay, David. In the last few years I was feeling this growing discomfort that I am hyper focused but somehow focused on all the wrong things, so much of that driven by social media. It's been a lot of work to claw my way out of that - yoga first, then meditation. But it was starting my Substack that has been the most transformational. I was all over the place for a while but eventually realized that I missed my own mind. I promised myself to make reading a central focus of my life and the lights have slowly started to come back on.
How far into the W&P challenge are you? I wonder if I can catch up.
You ask so many good questions I hardly know where to begin. I’ve been putting off answering this for a week or more. 😂
I think the thread that resonates most tonight is how in my art practice I feel very centered and grounded in what I’m doing. I know it’s about my creative expression and people can take it or leave it.
A few years ago that wasn’t the case and it’s been interesting that when I stopped trying so hard - stopped thinking about how I was being perceived in the art world - my art has really connected and been exhibited in so many places now.
I think I might be circling toward a same inner knowing with Substack, but I’ve been unraveling a lot of shoulds - some from the platform and a tiny taste of going viral - and some from my past self imagining a different direction that’s no longer a great fit. I think I need a lot more embracing the ebb and flow rather than grand plan and strict publishing schedule.
Which brings us back to the ebb. There has to be space for the ebb. And trust the next wave is coming. 🌊
Well done Sarah! Putting off for a week is infinitely better than putting off indefinitely. 😂 Although I think it’s ok to just let the questions fizzle through our subconscious and see what comes of that.
Sounds like you’re in a good place all in all creatively. Circling back around to stuff you knew all along.
Is ‘going viral’ like being caught in a snare? The quicker you move the more stuck you become. 😅
Great reflective prompts. I do think that we are all burnt out. I don’t believe having our phones with us 24/7 and with various methods in which people can contact you. I think it creates social fatigue but doesn’t fill the social cup. ☕️ 🫖
Great point Sheila 🥰 Gives the appearance of socialising but not the bones of it eh. 🦴
Nope, and we need that bone broth to feed us.
🍜🫶🏼✨
I used to look for validation from my father, having never received it in childhood and then one day I just stopped, realising he would never change, and I became really, really low contact. Then he died and the sense of relief was immense. But it does mean that I can now publish all my angsty thoughts and feelings about him. I wish I’d had the courage when he was alive as a sort of yah boo sucks to him.
I think I’ve learnt now to appreciate myself for myself. It’s nice to get positive feedback but not necessary. I recently posted about my first poem at 13, one that sat in my notebook with a massive DO NOT PUBLISH next to it. And I took that step and published it anyway expecting people to not like it and some did. That was good.
Is Substack bigger than me, I want to say of course it is - physically it is, it holds more words than I do, more ideas day to day. But my corner in it is small and and comfortable. Am I bigger than Substack, yes of course I am, it is not ‘necessary’ but useful, whereas I am both necessary AND useful. 😜
You sound extremely courageous getting through that childhood Tamsin. Must’ve been really confusing for you.
DO NOT PUBLISH (I’m looking at you, adult version of me!) 😂 Love that.
I don’t know anything of physics. I’m a romantic Tamsin I have galaxies inside me inside which are libraries where substack may make up a shelf or two. 🌌💖
Ah yes, that was the impression I failed to get across. That inside is a Tardis. That whilst in the real world Substack seems huge (people words etc) it’s nothing compared to the human experience of being oneself. (I was shattered last night and excuse my inadequate waffling on that).
You are all the adequatenesses ✨😆🫶🏼
I definitely have days where I feel my tiny humanness and substack looms large.
I see I’ve done that thing again where I leave a reply as a comment in a separate thread 🙈
I don’t use any other social media, I only use Substack but I find myself bumping up against the same patterns. How do I consume consciously? How do I not let myself be guided by the dopamine hit waiting for me if I check it? How do I share honestly and authentically? How do I create space for boredom and not cram every minute full? All questions I’ve been asking this week.
Putting replies in the general thread 🧵 instead of actually replying to someone is fast becoming my calling card. Sorry Emma 🤦♂️
🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
That’s good that you’ve mindfully identified your patterns Emma.
They are all beautiful lines of enquiry. 👏🏼☺️
I think safety is a good place to start from. Just checking in and asking if I feel safe in the world. And if not how can I get my needs met so that I do feel safe.
I’m much less reactive from this deeply embodied sense of feeling safe in the world. 🙏
There are worse calling cards to have! Yes, I love those inquiries around safety and what can I don’t meet my own needs, when I focus on that, I am less reactive as well.
Indeed 😆 Maybe it’s just my phone but I find substack notifications tricksy to navigate. 🫨
Understanding our own needs and then there’s the ability to express them. A lifelong practice eh. ☺️ x
That’s good that you’ve mindfully identified your patterns Emma.
They are all beautiful lines of enquiry. 👏🏼☺️
I think safety is a good place to start from. Just checking in and asking if I feel safe in the world. And if not how can I get my needs met so that I do feel safe.
I’m much less reactive from this deeply embodied sense of feeling safe in the world. 🙏
Slow reads is such a wonderful discovery. As a writer who always has plenty to say about what she writes and reads (sometimes too much, I fear), any reader contribution is welcomed, however small.
The older I get, the less I need validation from others. In fact I even find it irritating these days. I have found myself trying to create a substack that meets the needs of others assuming that's what I need to do to be successful here. But i I find I can't do it that way because I don't have the energy for it.
I've had a break from it the last few weeks and am rethinking it all.... Who do I really want to be here?
I am in awe of you reading War & Peace!
Simon really is an astonishing teacher. He opened the door to war & peace for me. I’m eternally grateful. 🙏💖
Love the three or four pages on a big day David. 😂😊 I have not read many of the Russian classics but the ones I did read were much more interesting than I thought they would be.
Validation is such a tricky one - we are socialised and wired to want it - yet doing our own thing and trusting ourselves requires the opposite. I take it one situation at a time!
Putting replies in the general thread 🧵 instead of actually replying to someone is fast becoming my calling card. 🤦♂️
Copypasta from above… 😆💖
Absolutely Catriona! ☺️ I think seeking validation is a perfectly healthy thing to do.
Just mindful of when it becomes the driving force of what we do.
Lovely to have you here! 🥰
Absolutely Catriona! ☺️ I think seeking validation is a perfectly healthy thing to do.
Just mindful of when it becomes the driving force of what we do.
Lovely to have you here! 🥰
So much to think about here, David. Thanks for sharing.
I love the idea of a slow read-along because I can be very slow to read at times , though not always because it's a part of my job – those I have to read fast, so that's perhaps why those I read for pleasure are often slow reads.
I certainly feel like burnout is my constant now. Currently trying to figure out a plan for taking a break while also adding intentional slowdown practices into my everyday life.
When it’s constant there’s probably a sense of not feeling safe at the heart of it Melissa-Jane…does that sound related? Not you as such but your nervous system. ??
I think my next post will be on ‘drivers’. The things that compel us to run a million miles a hour internally…even when externally it looks like we live a slow paced life. 🤔
Go easy on yourself won’t you. 🦋💖
Yes, absolutely. I've always been an anxious person, to be fair, and there are lots of reasons for that, but some extra recent things that are adding to it all I suppose.
Thank you so much for your kindness, David. Looking forward to your next post <3
Anxiety is an awful feeling so I have tremendous compassion for anyone going through it. It’s tempting to try and stay one step ahead of it and I think that’s where the burn out comes from. 🏃🏽♀️
Anxiety is really a call from the body to come home to the body. 🏡
Just gentle things like feeling you have your feet on the ground and remembering that the earth is there to support you (always). You’re not on your own. 🌳
Ooh that makes sense. I do feel like I'm always trying to be on top of things to try to keep anxiety at bay but more things just pop up. It's all never-ending, of course. Always more things to add to the list. Trying to incorporate some slowing down moments.
Tree hugging isn’t very fashionable thing to admit to 😆 but nobody ever came away from a tree not feeling better. 🥰 Trees have that quality that we’re all searching for…simply being. Even plants can settle our nerves if just sit and softly stare at them. None of this makes sense to our minds of course…it all seems too simple to be believable.
Actually, in my culture it's so important to tread lightly on the earth and to respect all living things because they contain the essence of the ancestors. So, I'm all for tree hugging! :D Just placing my hand on a tree gives me a sense of calm.
“I have this underlying fear that my lack of formal education leaves me ill-equipped to enrich the discourse. Occasionally, I muster a throwaway remark or a sparse handful of emojis, but the weight of my inadequacy looms large.”
This one line struck more than any other. How many others are thinking the same thing? And if you, in your “inadequacy” post a simple thought, YOUR thought without presumption, how many others might follow suit and open up the discussion to a more simple and heartfelt level. This isn’t to say the refined and educated distillations of the work aren’t valid, but there are more ways than one to read, enjoy, and discuss a book.
Absolutely Suzanne! ☺️ Nothing wrong with simple. Lovely to think one could be a bridge for others to drive over. 🌁🚗💕
Absolutely Suzanne! ☺️ Nothing wrong with simple. Lovely to think one could be a bridge for others to drive over. 🌁🚗💕
I have been having this exact thought for at least a year. Since the pandemic, my tolerance for bullshit has dramatically waned. I feel like my nervous system has been permanently reset to both a higher and lower baseline, which makes no rational sense, but I feel the truth of it in my bones.
So overstimulated. Yes.
I’m trying to loosen the grip rationality has on me. Those bones have a lot of talking to do. 👌🏽💖🦴
I loved reading this essay, David. In the last few years I was feeling this growing discomfort that I am hyper focused but somehow focused on all the wrong things, so much of that driven by social media. It's been a lot of work to claw my way out of that - yoga first, then meditation. But it was starting my Substack that has been the most transformational. I was all over the place for a while but eventually realized that I missed my own mind. I promised myself to make reading a central focus of my life and the lights have slowly started to come back on.
How far into the W&P challenge are you? I wonder if I can catch up.
Thanks Petya that’s a very generous comment. 🙏 The tentacles 🦑 of social media reach deep. 🧠
I don’t think we quite appreciate just how much of us they claim to meet their own ends.
Sounds like folks could learn a lot from your journey of reclaiming yourself. Clearing out the rooms and sticking the lights back on.
Would you have an essay in particular that speaks to this? Please feel free to leave links if that feels right. 🌸🙏
Book 2 Part 2 Chapter 20 of W&P.
Catching up…hmmm…I’d say it was doable, but I’ll ask Simon his definitive answer.
Book 2 Part 2 Chapter 20 of W&P.
Catching up…hmmm…I’d say it was doable, but I’ll ask Simon his definitive answer.
I asked Simon if it was too late to catch up on W&P…
“Not at all! It is all up to the individual reader. They can use all the resources at https://.
footnotesandtangents.substack.co m/p/war-and-peace to catch up or read at their own pace.” —Simon Haisell
https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/p/war-and-peace
I asked Simon if it was too late to catch up on W&P…
“Not at all! It is all up to the individual reader. They can use all the resources at https://.
footnotesandtangents.substack.co m/p/war-and-peace to catch up or read at their own pace.” —Simon Haisell
https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/p/war-and-peace
You ask so many good questions I hardly know where to begin. I’ve been putting off answering this for a week or more. 😂
I think the thread that resonates most tonight is how in my art practice I feel very centered and grounded in what I’m doing. I know it’s about my creative expression and people can take it or leave it.
A few years ago that wasn’t the case and it’s been interesting that when I stopped trying so hard - stopped thinking about how I was being perceived in the art world - my art has really connected and been exhibited in so many places now.
I think I might be circling toward a same inner knowing with Substack, but I’ve been unraveling a lot of shoulds - some from the platform and a tiny taste of going viral - and some from my past self imagining a different direction that’s no longer a great fit. I think I need a lot more embracing the ebb and flow rather than grand plan and strict publishing schedule.
Which brings us back to the ebb. There has to be space for the ebb. And trust the next wave is coming. 🌊
Well done Sarah! Putting off for a week is infinitely better than putting off indefinitely. 😂 Although I think it’s ok to just let the questions fizzle through our subconscious and see what comes of that.
Sounds like you’re in a good place all in all creatively. Circling back around to stuff you knew all along.
Is ‘going viral’ like being caught in a snare? The quicker you move the more stuck you become. 😅