Well first of all, can I just say Sorry 🙏 I know that doesn’t change anything but I just want to acknowledge your suffering.
As you say, girls are taught to be wary. Boys are actively encouraged. I was given my first gun at age six. It was a replica revolver. Even before that, I had little plastic toy soldiers and my computer games invariably involved killing things.
I won’t argue that giving toy weapons to children leads to violent adults. I’d argue these toys simply reflect where societies’ collective head is at in regards to violence.
It’s seen as the norm and little boys are primed for violence. Not to be afraid of it but to actively engage with it - you could argue field sports were invented for this reason 🏉
It’s a kill or be killed philosophy- the lions have not yet laid down with the lambs. The world is red in tooth and claw.
In case people imagine I’m exaggerating the levels of violence in the UK can I just say that the UK has been in active armed conflict somewhere around the world every year for over a century! (109yrs since we declared war on Germany in 1914 and we’ve been fighting ever since).
The Royal Marines themselves were formed in 1664...that’s three hundred and fifty-nine years of gainful employment in killing.
Clearly, we’re addicted to this idea of warfare.
The male psyche would argue war and violent confrontation was the natural order of things.
I’d go so far as to say it’s almost pointless trying to convince men how mad a world we live in. A man would have to disown large parts of himself in order for him to come to terms with it.
Can I just say that calling masculinity toxic isn’t helpful either. It’s not toxic masculinity...it’s masculinity in a toxic world. Every time a teenage boy here’s that phrase he streams another Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson YouTube in order to soothe himself. 😏
Boys and men don’t want this anymore than women but men are enmeshed in it because their self esteem and identity is tied into it.
Men suffer at their own hands - suicide, binge drinking, addictions, prison, heart attacks, reckless driving.
A little sensitivity would go a long way but when did schools put that and not ‘resilience’ in their manifesto?
But at least men get a choice in the matter. They’re at the helm. Very different, and scary I imagine to be in the passenger seat as a female watching this level of crazy and terror day after day. With no way of stopping it.
We can only have faith that it’s all part of a much bigger plan I feel. 🙏
It’s a tricky one. There’s still large parts of me that wants to recoil from the very notion of it. It just feels too uncomfortable to own.
How can one not be misogynistic when the society they were raised in is misogynistic. It’s the water we drink from.
It’s complicated further because women are forced to fragment to accommodate a bi-polar view of their own gender and self. To be a successful woman it’s necessary to compete on masculine terms.
I’m not sure anyone is owning their own shit. Much easier to throw that stuff around 💩😅
Brilliant post. After reading “Freedom from the known”, I see that violence starts from within. In how we speak to ourselves (& each other), not just in actions and behaviours.
I had to come out of a WhatsApp group the other year because it was acceptable to talk about the latest local act of violence (which, on reflection, will be enough to trigger my nervous system) yet there was no space available in the group to talk about anything else. How did this become the norm?
I always think the same about war. Rather than talking about the latest going’s on with war, what about us asking ourselves about the wars going on inside of us?
Managed to put this comment in the thread instead of hitting reply 😅🤪
Thank you and well said!
The Shit & Love title represents exactly what you’re talking about.
When the yogis talk of meditation they’re talking about love aren’t they.
Cultivating love, compassion & kindness.
To which people say “Yeah, but get real!”. As if those two things are separate. Love on one side and Shit on the other.
‘Real shit’, which is what society is head down ploughing into, includes war, the economy, science, gossip, busyness, identity & individualism.
Love is seen as too abstract, too ethereal to bother with. It can’t be bought, traded, or stored for future profits.
We seem to all to accept a very watered down, chocolates & roses version of what love actually is.
Claire had a similar experience the last time she went to the hairdresser and all they wanted to talk about was the latest violent crime headlines. It’s almost like, if we talk about the nitty/gritty shit aspects of life we must be real people having real conversations. Meanwhile their souls are floating around who knows where waiting for the real conversation to begin. 💖
The Shit & Love title represents exactly what you’re talking about.
When the yogis talk of meditation they’re talking about love aren’t they.
Cultivating love, compassion & kindness.
To which people say “Yeah, but get real!”. As if those two things are separate. Love on one side and Shit on the other.
‘Real shit’, which is what society is head down ploughing into, includes war, the economy, science, gossip, busyness, identity & individualism.
Love is seen as too abstract, too ethereal to bother with. It can’t be bought, traded, or stored for future profits.
We seem to all to accept a very watered down, chocolates & roses version of what love actually is.
Claire had a similar experience the last time she went to the hairdresser and all they wanted to talk about was the latest violent crime headlines. It’s almost like, if we talk about the nitty/gritty shit aspects of life we must be real people having real conversations. Meanwhile their souls are floating around who knows where waiting for the real conversation to begin. 💖
What can we do indeed... invite feelings of being safe in our body - the space we call home and more than that recognise that physical strength - the essence of it, the look of it, the aesthetic of it will always be mildly terrifying and/ or intriguing at a cellular level whether we are consciously aware of it or not?!
I say intriguing because of growing up with super heroes and Arnie - not scary but physically strong and intriguing. And I don’t need to re mention the Athena poster do I?! 😆 #softnessandstrength
It’s interesting about the changing room thing because actually the only place I haven’t felt safe in the last few years is in a shared changing room at our local spa and sometimes in conversation with the neighbour that is no longer there
And I didn’t feel safe because there was no reception person on that day and no one else there to witness the space, the empty space and the space I felt trapped in.
Hmm. An excellent and necessary post I thought this one. 👏🏻✨🫣😳🥰
Well first of all, can I just say Sorry 🙏 I know that doesn’t change anything but I just want to acknowledge your suffering.
As you say, girls are taught to be wary. Boys are actively encouraged. I was given my first gun at age six. It was a replica revolver. Even before that, I had little plastic toy soldiers and my computer games invariably involved killing things.
I won’t argue that giving toy weapons to children leads to violent adults. I’d argue these toys simply reflect where societies’ collective head is at in regards to violence.
It’s seen as the norm and little boys are primed for violence. Not to be afraid of it but to actively engage with it - you could argue field sports were invented for this reason 🏉
It’s a kill or be killed philosophy- the lions have not yet laid down with the lambs. The world is red in tooth and claw.
In case people imagine I’m exaggerating the levels of violence in the UK can I just say that the UK has been in active armed conflict somewhere around the world every year for over a century! (109yrs since we declared war on Germany in 1914 and we’ve been fighting ever since).
The Royal Marines themselves were formed in 1664...that’s three hundred and fifty-nine years of gainful employment in killing.
Clearly, we’re addicted to this idea of warfare.
The male psyche would argue war and violent confrontation was the natural order of things.
I’d go so far as to say it’s almost pointless trying to convince men how mad a world we live in. A man would have to disown large parts of himself in order for him to come to terms with it.
Can I just say that calling masculinity toxic isn’t helpful either. It’s not toxic masculinity...it’s masculinity in a toxic world. Every time a teenage boy here’s that phrase he streams another Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson YouTube in order to soothe himself. 😏
Boys and men don’t want this anymore than women but men are enmeshed in it because their self esteem and identity is tied into it.
Men suffer at their own hands - suicide, binge drinking, addictions, prison, heart attacks, reckless driving.
A little sensitivity would go a long way but when did schools put that and not ‘resilience’ in their manifesto?
But at least men get a choice in the matter. They’re at the helm. Very different, and scary I imagine to be in the passenger seat as a female watching this level of crazy and terror day after day. With no way of stopping it.
We can only have faith that it’s all part of a much bigger plan I feel. 🙏
It’s a tricky one. There’s still large parts of me that wants to recoil from the very notion of it. It just feels too uncomfortable to own.
How can one not be misogynistic when the society they were raised in is misogynistic. It’s the water we drink from.
It’s complicated further because women are forced to fragment to accommodate a bi-polar view of their own gender and self. To be a successful woman it’s necessary to compete on masculine terms.
I’m not sure anyone is owning their own shit. Much easier to throw that stuff around 💩😅
A most excellent start! A superpower no less! ☄️💪🏼💖
Brilliant post. After reading “Freedom from the known”, I see that violence starts from within. In how we speak to ourselves (& each other), not just in actions and behaviours.
I had to come out of a WhatsApp group the other year because it was acceptable to talk about the latest local act of violence (which, on reflection, will be enough to trigger my nervous system) yet there was no space available in the group to talk about anything else. How did this become the norm?
I always think the same about war. Rather than talking about the latest going’s on with war, what about us asking ourselves about the wars going on inside of us?
Managed to put this comment in the thread instead of hitting reply 😅🤪
Thank you and well said!
The Shit & Love title represents exactly what you’re talking about.
When the yogis talk of meditation they’re talking about love aren’t they.
Cultivating love, compassion & kindness.
To which people say “Yeah, but get real!”. As if those two things are separate. Love on one side and Shit on the other.
‘Real shit’, which is what society is head down ploughing into, includes war, the economy, science, gossip, busyness, identity & individualism.
Love is seen as too abstract, too ethereal to bother with. It can’t be bought, traded, or stored for future profits.
We seem to all to accept a very watered down, chocolates & roses version of what love actually is.
Claire had a similar experience the last time she went to the hairdresser and all they wanted to talk about was the latest violent crime headlines. It’s almost like, if we talk about the nitty/gritty shit aspects of life we must be real people having real conversations. Meanwhile their souls are floating around who knows where waiting for the real conversation to begin. 💖
Thank you and well said!
The Shit & Love title represents exactly what you’re talking about.
When the yogis talk of meditation they’re talking about love aren’t they.
Cultivating love, compassion & kindness.
To which people say “Yeah, but get real!”. As if those two things are separate. Love on one side and Shit on the other.
‘Real shit’, which is what society is head down ploughing into, includes war, the economy, science, gossip, busyness, identity & individualism.
Love is seen as too abstract, too ethereal to bother with. It can’t be bought, traded, or stored for future profits.
We seem to all to accept a very watered down, chocolates & roses version of what love actually is.
Claire had a similar experience the last time she went to the hairdresser and all they wanted to talk about was the latest violent crime headlines. It’s almost like, if we talk about the nitty/gritty shit aspects of life we must be real people having real conversations. Meanwhile their souls are floating around who knows where waiting for the real conversation to begin. 💖
What can we do indeed... invite feelings of being safe in our body - the space we call home and more than that recognise that physical strength - the essence of it, the look of it, the aesthetic of it will always be mildly terrifying and/ or intriguing at a cellular level whether we are consciously aware of it or not?!
I say intriguing because of growing up with super heroes and Arnie - not scary but physically strong and intriguing. And I don’t need to re mention the Athena poster do I?! 😆 #softnessandstrength
It’s interesting about the changing room thing because actually the only place I haven’t felt safe in the last few years is in a shared changing room at our local spa and sometimes in conversation with the neighbour that is no longer there
And I didn’t feel safe because there was no reception person on that day and no one else there to witness the space, the empty space and the space I felt trapped in.
Hmm. An excellent and necessary post I thought this one. 👏🏻✨🫣😳🥰