Hi I’m David…
Living Nakedly out in the world.
I’ve just come out of the sauna.
Currently laying on the hotbeds just reflecting on a conversation in there.
It was one of those conversations that comes about only once in awhile. You know, a real effortless affair.
The sauna can be conducive to that. The heat and the lack of clothing. Maybe something to do with water elements that lends itself to flow too.
That said, it can go either one of two ways.
There’s that odd silence maintained by two people wearing very little, shut in a small space together.
Or…and this is how it went today…
Just cracking on and embracing all of it. Our bellies, rogue hair and our strange feet. The sweat and the strange huffing and puffing noises only an adult middle aged man makes in the heat.
I’d generally class myself as an introvert but I do like a good connect and this was indeed a lovely one.
Not that the conversation got particularly deep or meaningful.
The connection came from two people just willing to take a chance and engage openly.
Newcastle 6 - Tottenham 1
Mainly we talked about football and how well my local team (Newcastle United) were doing. We spoke about football team rivalries and how some crackerjacks take it too far.
We spoke about his team (Coventry) and that led to a conversation about his life’s journey from his hometown up to Newcastle and then retirement in Northumberland.
Eventually he asked, “What do you do?”
Queue, Awkward Pause
Now, when someone asks me what I do, this is where I usually take an awkward pause.
A pause that feels like eons on the inside. In reality it’s probably not even noticeable…except to the subconscious (which is always listening).
I should really have what I’m going to say figured out by now…but I don’t.
Do I say ‘I’m a yoga teacher’…do I say ‘I’m a writer’…do I say ‘I’m a yoga teacher’…but quantify it with something more masculine by adding ‘…but I used to be in the marines”.
I Used to be in the Marines
‘I used to be in the marines’ is a terrible way to box yourself in, but it can have its uses.
It’s not something I’m ever quick to reveal.
Wether you’re pro forces or anti them, it’s nothing but a wedge between who you think I am and the person you’re actually sat next to.
That reminds me of Bill Hick’s dismantling stand-up act, just after the Gulf War;
It was a very stressful time for me, the war. I'll tell you why - I was in the unenviable position of being for the war, but against the troops.
And ah... Not the most popular stance I've ever taken on an issue. —Bill Hicks
Bill Hicks, dismantling the notion that one can be pro troops but anti war, as only society’s professional class of clowns can.
I’m a Writer
Despite most of my time being spent writing these days, I’m least likely to say “I’m a writer.”
I just know that if you say you’re a writer, the next question, by law, has to be “What have you written?”.
At which point I’ll have to say, “Nothing really, I just speak my mind on the internet”…and the conversation will terminate abruptly there.
Today I didn’t pause at all and I was clear and succinct “I’m a yoga teacher”.
And lo and behold despite my prejudices this guy also does yoga.
*In fact Lucy, if you’re reading this, he was very complimentary about your classes - said he loved that blissed out state whenever he left your studio.
To Pause or Not to Pause
Usually I need the pause. It’s buying me time isn’t it. Time enough to assess wether I feel safe in the sharing.
Time enough for some damage limitation.
Can we stand naked and secure without our labels?
This all leads me to ask, what labels do you have?
What labels have you been trying to shake loose from?
When are labels helpful and when have they left you feeling isolated?
Oh I’d never heard of that but that’s such a good way of describing it!
Thanks for writing about this, I like the idea of using labels as an easy way to connect “I am an x” so you might like me because you are also an x.
But having taught for over a decade and then leaving the profession, I have loved being cast lose from the label of teacher and relish just being me. It’s taken a long time to get to this point.
I also like your point about not knowing how to answer the question. I think it’s because we are multi faceted and so much more than the one label which we use to often make that first link with another person.