6 Comments

Thanks for writing about this, I like the idea of using labels as an easy way to connect “I am an x” so you might like me because you are also an x.

But having taught for over a decade and then leaving the profession, I have loved being cast lose from the label of teacher and relish just being me. It’s taken a long time to get to this point.

I also like your point about not knowing how to answer the question. I think it’s because we are multi faceted and so much more than the one label which we use to often make that first link with another person.

Expand full comment

Absolutely. ☺️

Psychotherapists have that wonderful phrase don’t they...’making contact’ with their clients they say.

Making contact...like that delicate spacecraft touching down on the moon for the first time.

We have to be able to connect with people and we’re always looking for signs to guide us in. And labels can be a great signpost.

It’s just when we invest too heavily in the outward labels like job title...and we start to believe that’s who we are...it’s very easy to lose a sense of ourselves.

If we can hold both our inner experiences and our outer labels loosely I think we’ll be all the better off for it.

It can be a real rollercoaster figuring all this stuff out eh? 😅🎢🙏

Expand full comment

Oh I’d never heard of that but that’s such a good way of describing it!

Expand full comment

Have a blessed day Helen. Really appreciate you leaning in to the conversation. ☺️💜

Expand full comment

I hate this question! I am too many things. But I've been trying to lean into the "I'm an artist and author." (Now that I'm writing books.) Before this I fell back on my adjunct university job in a similar way you would mention your time in the Marines. I'm still actively a uni instructor that feels secondary to my art and writing at this point and while it's a shortcut to a certain type of respect and credibility, but people respond much differently to someone they perceive as a professor vs an artist.

Expand full comment

Yeah I hear all this!

It often can feel like people looking for ways to either dismiss you or get something from you depending on how you answer.

Somebody referred to me as an ‘asset’ to his team yesterday and I visibly flinched. Once you start referring to people as assets we’ve lost the plot.

As far as our biology is concerned it’s a very modern question. It would be an odd question to ask your fellow cavedwelling brothers and sisters ‘what they did’. 😂

It’s odd for our biology because it’s trying to relate to the person moment to moment. Tracking and matching the breath etc. It puts this process in discord.

Expand full comment