Discover the Remarkable Story Behind My Wife's Substack Success
Well that headline that might rival the most click-bait sounding headline ever used. But rest assured, I'm here to deliver on the promise it holds. So, get ready as I unravel the secrets behind my wife's Substack success…
New Readers
I must say hi and thank you to all my new readers…Hey! Hi! Hello! 👋🏻 Thank you for being here 💕💕
But First Notes
If you’re on substack Notes, chances are that you’re a writer yourself -please feel free to introduce yourself and your publication in the comments and then we can all get to know each other.
Have you thought about being really experimental with Notes? - at the moment, everyone seems to be using it in the same way so it’s wide open for creativity.
Notes put you directly in front of a new audience.
It’s a great way to test what works and what doesn’t land with people.
You have to separate your self worth out from your writing and just treat it like a game.
Meet someone where they are at with the same level of intensity of where they are at, and you might just make a stranger’s day! (a sleep deprived new mum, a female entrepreneur who’s being ignored, someone who’s kids have just left home and they feel bereft…)
Let’s Talk About My Wife’s Success but First…a question; What IS Success?
You get to decide.
End of chat.
I’ll leave a space and you can pretend it’s a notebook and you’re writing your own terms of success in the blank
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Success on Substack
I playfully tease my wife Claire at Sparkle on Substackabout her recent Substack 'stardom,' but I’m tremendously proud of her and what she’s achieved.
More than what she’s achieved it’s the integrity with which she’s gone about it that brings a tear to my eye. Not once has she failed to lift up the other people she’s come into contact with - be they struggling writers trying to get off the ground, or incredibly successful authors confused as to how Substack is different from other social media platforms. Even people who view themselves in direct competition…Claire has refused to play that ‘sharpest elbows to the top’ game.
It’s Not Been Easy
Like many women, she grapples with a fundamental sense of self-worth and a sense that maybe she’s taking up too much space.
Initially, Claire was confused by all the praise coming her way.
This is because, well…we all massively under appreciate our own skill set.
I’ll highlight this with a quick story about my neighbour who’s a mechanic…
Basically, he fixed the catalytic converter on my car, and when I tried to pay him he said “Don't be daft. It took me 2 minutes." It was a straightforward job for him but he wasn’t appreciating how much of a headache he’d saved me…finding a good trustworthy mechanic, getting it booked in, worrying about how I’d do the school run and pick up the kids and on and on… I forced him to take £300 (380USD) in the end and both he and I were chuffed to bits
Similarly, your unique skillset—whether in numbers, engagement, tech wizardry, or poetic expression—is probably right under your nose. It may feel like splashing around in the kiddie's pool to you, but to other’s who don’t share your experience, it's akin to taking a leap off an Olympic-size diving board.
Claire’s unique skillset and one that she’d massively discounted is her ability to hold all the threads of a project and where all the people involved are situated, in that web, at any one time.
I’m blown away by people who can rebuild engines (hard skills) but I’m also blown away by Claire’s ‘soft skills’ of pulling strings that people didn’t even know they had access to. And the soft skills of nurturing and caring for others
Celebrate Good Times
More broadly, a win for Claire is a win for women who don’t want to play by men’s rules of what success looks like.
As a man I have an annoying habit of wanting to be (expecting to be) admired for my work. When someone reads my work and says “Your writing is incredible”. That is success to me.
Claire’s version of success is a foreign language I’m not yet fluent in, but I get by on one or two passable phrases…Claire feels like success is when someone is inspired to create and is empowered by her work not dazzled by it.
“You know what, I could actually see myself doing that!” is the rallying cry of her Sparkle on Substack clan.
Claire, and she’s not the only one who does this, pours her generosity out with open palms 🤲🏼
She finds answers to questions. Workarounds to problems. Cheerleading of ambitions.
In short, she puts the reader first and foremost, and try’s to be as helpful as possible.
Words you might find yourself saying after reading one of Claire’s pieces…
I could take small measured risks.
I could be kind to myself when it gets messy.
I’m prepared to start where I’m at.
I don’t need to worry about not having an established readership base.
I’m prepared to be authentically vulnerable and put stuff out there.
I’m ready to be consistent.
The Embodied Animal
All of this is fine on paper but where does all this land in your cells?
As you grow and as you’re exposed to more challenges and more and more people deciding they know who you are.
These are all qualities and actions Claire has had to fully embody to get where she’s at.
Don’t Leave Yourself Behind
Centre the reader in your writing but don’t leave yourself behind in your creative journey.
Remember that as much as you're helping others with your writing, you're also undergoing a powerful transformation of your own.
That's the alchemy of creativity.✨
It’s no coincidence that Claire decided to revisit therapy last year. Growth is challenging on all the levels. Be kind to yourself. Get the support you need. Don’t struggle on by yourself.
*if my mates tell me they can’t afford therapy I tell them well that’s all the more reason you need therapy because what you’re telling me is you have very little resources on which to draw upon. Sell your new car, buy a second hand one. Spend a year in therapy. Healthy well resourced people can make money. Take your foot off the gas to go forwards faster.
Lessons from Claire; Two Things to Keep Reminding Yourself
Yes, Substack is new and there’s a lot to learn, but you have a wealth of skills you’ve built over many years to bring to the table.
You can stay true to you - you don’t have to exploit yourself (or others) for healthy sustainable growth.
Claire’s Creative Path
Prior to Substack, I’ve watched Claire in various creative director roles.
From consulting for Europe’s largest charity to working with creative teams bringing magical sea green/ blue dragons to enthralled mum and toddler audiences at the local library.
Perhaps what she loves the most is art’s ability to enchant.
Children are always poised for enchantment; indeed, they expect it.
A leaf blowing down the street is a chance for a magical adventure. 🍂
Adults, on the other hand… well, to engage them at all, we have to wrong-foot their world-weary cynicism and find ways to re-enchant.
When art is done well, whether by artists, writers, dancers, or musicians, there is an X-factor ingredient that presses pause on reality. A compelling story has the power to take you on a journey that you’re never quite the same from.
In a word, ‘magic’.
Which explains why she loves to use that bloody sparkle emoji so much! ✨👀 (if only she’d trademarked the blood thing)
Creatively Conscious
I think a big part of her success was that at some point in her life, she made the conscious decision that creativity was not as important as science, engineering, and cake… but actually, more, important than those things…
Okay, maybe not cake!
I Believe✨
Self-belief is important for everyone but crucial in an environment that doesn’t hold your values.
Make no bones about it; society does not see you. The power structures in place have no intention of making room for you or your ‘creative fluff' anytime soon.
Believe in yourself, and equally important, believe in what you’re putting out into the world.
Nobody else is coming to help, but that’s Okay, it helps us to get clear about what we really stand for.
Art can change lives, but it does something much more important than that… it puts us back in touch with ourselves… on a soul level… it softens the places we’ve hardened… it rekindles beauty… it brings the tears that can wash the scales from our eyes… it makes us human…
The Creative Stampede 🐮
And all it takes is the first one or two sensitive souls to tentatively make their way out onto the spring grass after a long, long winter of shelter, to move a whole herd of sensitive creatives.
It takes sensitivity to really create something that can stand the test of time, but Claire’s success is not just a win for sensitive souls.
It’s a win both for matriarchal values and a cherishing of the wilder side of womanhood.
The untameable and unanswerable human fragments that no amount of masculine scientific pontification will ‘classify’ in order to put in a cabinet.
The world has yet to witness my wife's sacred feminine rage, but I’m here for it.
Through therapy and some implosive confrontations to our marriage that we’ve only just managed to negotiate, she’s tentatively in touch with parts of herself that were held away in shame.
The reclaiming of these parts and the acceptance of it is already there in her writing. It’s healing the world as we speak.
This is why I tell you how I always knew her message would help so many.
You Made it This far
As you embark on your creative journey, remember that your unique voice and story have the power to deeply resonate with others. To move them in new and more nurturing directions. And that’s an incredible thing.
Embrace the magic within you, take those leaps into the unknown, and trust in the transformative nature of your creativity.
The world awaits your unique contribution, and every step you take brings you closer to a narrative that is entirely your own.
Would love to hear more about your enchantment in the comments…
How has creativity transformed your journey?
As always, lift your heart to the sky and keep your feet on the ground.
Much Love
David
Thank you Sarina. We’re lucky to have your keen eye and open heart with us. 🤲🏼
“if my mates tell me they can’t afford therapy I tell them well that’s all the more reason you need therapy because what you’re telling me is you have very little resources on which to draw upon.” I love this and not least because what I see others often doing is acknowledging the position they are in but almost to the point of apology. As though if they have a partner to support them financially makes the deep inner work and the mammoth choices that we have to make around life-changing decisions and bringing in the support and help we need any easier. But also the point that someone saying they can’t afford something really means they feel they don’t have the resource and aren’t the resourceful human beings that they are 👏👏👏