Back from the Brink

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to reach out with a light note, especially after what has been a rather dark few months for me. I have some personal news to share.

My best friend recently took their own life.

I had initially written some intense pieces to share with you, as I believe we’re all interconnected in some way, and I felt you deserved an explanation for my absence from Substack. I even tried recording a video to make it more personal, but neither felt right.

Maybe deserved isn’t the perfect word, but let’s say I care enough about you to want to keep you informed.

I don’t usually shy away from heavier themes in my writing; in fact, they are central to what I do. I write about the ‘shit’ that happens and explore how we can find our way back to ‘love.’

The difference is, I usually write from a place where I’ve processed the events I’ve gone through—experiences that have had years, sometimes decades, to settle. Life’s more complicated terrain that I’ve worked through with therapists or during meditation.

It might be raw and honest to write about what’s happening in real-time, but I don’t think it would make for a great read, and more importantly, it wouldn’t be a safe experience for you.

A bird needs both wings to take flight.

For my publication, those wings are honesty—so we’re not deluding ourselves—and compassion—so we’re always holding one another safely.

I’ve lost a brother, my mother, and my father in recent years and bereavement doesn’t get easier. Now, with my best mate gone I’m really feeling hollowed out.

In the pain of grief I found myself saying out loud “I miss you son, but I love you more than I miss you”.

Missing someone and loving someone are almost the same, yet feel entirely different

Missing someone is to have your heart ripped from you whilst to love someone is to give that heart freely.

I love you more than I miss you 🙏 —David Venus; a prayer for loved ones gone too soon

Some days I feel like I just miss him and want him to come back and in those days I remind myself that I love him more than I miss him.

There are still days where I feel like I miss him more than I have love to give, but those days are getting further apart.

A beautiful thing to come out of all this is how all my male friends have responded. Empathetic, reliable, open, and most importantly they’ve showed up. We’re all keen to talk more openly about mental health and model that to the younger guys in our circles.

I’m good. I have good support networks. My familly are amazing.

I don’t want to get too heavy but I think I failed in the end.

Looking forward to connecting back in and getting back to writing

David