Getting Personal

Can we 'see' our personalities and what then?

My wife, Claire at

Creatively Conscious

(almost daily) says to me, “I’ll never get bored of you!”

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

Which is her kind way of saying, “What on this small blue earth are you up to now!”

We’re a strange couple in many ways, so different from one another. Unsure of what to expect, we’re always trying to figure each other out.

She said to me in the car today that her back was hurting (not as much as yesterday). I said, you need to support yourself with your breath…it’s not getting low enough to stabilise your spine.

I proceeded with my usual coaching; directing her to breathe into her low belly… “Can you feel into your belly button…make your way in until just in front of the spine.”

I was just about to direct her to drop down into her pelvis before she replied,

“Feel!?…that’s the trouble…I can feel everything…I feel the birds flying past the windscreen…”

How smart are crows by the way!

And this folks is why you should never coach your partner. Jokes. Although a professional coach is worth their weight in gold so also maybe true.

She definitely is able to connect on an ethereal level to the world in a way that I simply can’t. The good side of this is that she is free of her earthly body. The downside of that…is she is free of her earthly body!

Me, on the other hand, I’m firmly rooted in this clay vessel.

I think it was John the Baptist who talked of two types of soul…one of light and air and one of dark and depths. Claire with her sparkles and me with my spade.

One must be careful when digging doon. We are entering the earth’s subconscious.

Despite the differences, we almost always manage to find common ground in most areas and I think that’s what happens when you try to stay soul connected.

On the surface different, but we end up meeting at the same places.

Labyrinths; an exercise in trusting you’ll meet at the same place.

New age spiritual practices are often defined by Love & Light but that’s only one side of the equation. Don’t make the mistake of thinking there’s only one way to connect with your soul self.

Opinions

A friend asked me the other day what I thought about the whole COvid thing. I marvelled at his genuine curiosity but I couldn’t offer a clear answer.

Have You formed a concrete opinion?

Whether you’re asking me about the latest political drama, or the significant topics of the day, the likelihood is, you’ll be met by the same blank face staring back at you.

It’s not because I don’t feel it’s important, it’s because it’s not how I engage with the world. I’m an INFP Personality (Myers-Briggs) type, which means my four core traits are…

1. INTROVERSION,

2. INTUITION,

3. FEELING and

4. PERCEIVING

I see the connections in things. I’m a mediator, or a diplomat so don’t expect a straightforward answer on anything. I actually think it’s crucial we learn how to get comfortable in the uncertainty.

In many ways, INFP types are constantly brainstorming as their minds create a web of options.

If I’d been around in ancient Greece, Hippocrates might’ve labeled me as phlegmatic.

Whilst if I’d been unfortunate enough to have been one of Pavlov’s dogs, he would’ve referred to me as Strong balanced slow: calm, consistent, and not easily aroused.

You have a treat for me. How nice. I’ll get it in a second. 💖

Broadly speaking, I have weak emotions which are very stable. This means, I’m happy to think that the earth may be flat, that aliens walk amongst us and that Covid was released by dark forces…but I wouldn’t get too excited by any of these ideas.

My older brothers used to have to drag me out of bed on Christmas morning. That’s how unmoved I am by the days events.

I’m not the personality you need to rave about your new venture or even get excited about your expectant baby.

As beautiful as those things are, it’s just not in me to get excited. It does mean however that I tend to be the one still hanging around when you excitedly tell me that the same newborn is going to be a teenager week

Friends: “Can you believe it!”

Me: “Yes.”

I can and do firm up my mind on things but it’s a glacially slow process.

A glacier is a very, very slow-moving river

A Participatory Universe

If I’m sure of anything, it’s that we live in a participatory universe.

I believe how we do a thing is as important, if not more important, than what we do.

This is in contrast to the Cause & Effect world that we’re told that we live in.

Maybe I dance at your party, and maybe I stand in the corner alone. I’d argue it’s how I do those things that’s creating my universe…if I stand with grace and admire the beauty of the people and the way the room has been prepared, in my mind that’s better than dancing with the intent of showing off.

Showing off is as virtuous as anything no?

There’s nothing wrong with showing off, just ask a peacock, but just ask yourself do you want to live in a show-off universe?

Maybe you do. Maybe you don’t.

I’ll stay in my universe and admire your showing off universe. I don’t need to feel de-homed by others.

On the other hand, showing off could be done with ill intent or to somehow make another feel bad in which case you’re not actually in a Show-off universe but a Shame universe and nobody wants to live there.

Coaching - What am I up to

Bodywork/Soul Sessions

I’m doing one bodywork session a fortnight at the moment and that feels about right. Fridays is my allocated day for this.

Writing

Writing is feeling more like a job and less like a hobby…in a good way! It means I show up and write and not just when the mood takes me. If any of you guys have any thoughts on old school typewriters I’m thinking of going in that direction and would appreciate any advice

Mentorship

I’ve been talking about personalities to my clients a lot lately. Which is why I’ve revisited my own personality type here.

Personality of course is just one lens to consider how we move through the world but it can be useful nonetheless.

Especially if you’ve lost a sense of yourself in a relationship or indeed your job.

That’s a wrap ladies and gentlemen Thanks for reading and have a blessed week. And if I don’t see you through the week, I’ll see you through the window. 😆 #dadjokes

Take care ☺️