Death & Taxes
Conversations with my Son and my Father
Things I’ve been mulling over this week…
Death - my 86yr old father moved out of the family home and into a hospice Wednesday (5th October 2022).
My readership is almost entirely female and why I consider this a huge badge of honour.
So my father is dying, and not dying, at the same time. This makes no sense unless you’ve ever met my father. The man is all kinds of complicated. Like the disorientating flicker of a loose-fitting incandescent lightbulb, it’s hard to know your position at any given moment. And that includes his position on death. His body with its cancerous cells, its tumours, his enlarged prostate, his exhausted kidneys, his pacemaker-assisted-heart and his painfully swollen edema-filled legs are ready for the off, but his mind is firmly planted here in this cultural world of rising energy bills, home insurance and a living room carpet that needs hoovering.
Despite his strong will, his body is failing him and the place he’s called home for over half a century is no longer a safe space. The plan was to spend the night with my father and make sure he didn’t fall (again) through the night, before moving him into a hospice the following day.
His 8yr old grandson (my son) was afforded the day off school on compassionate grounds. By which I mean, I told him he could have the day off.
Home from school, we had a bite to eat with the rest of the family, packed our bags and jumped in the car. Just the two of us.
A drive of 40mins is just about the perfect amount of time to listen to some tunes and enjoy each other’s stories.
I guess cancer, hospices and dying are big themes for all of us, and our children are no exceptions.
When I think back to my own childhood, my parents chose to shield us kids away from what might be considered ‘adult’ themes. Even at 17yrs of age, my folks didn’t tell me about my grandmother’s death until after I’d got back from a two-week camping trip. It was like, “By the way, your grandmother has died”.
I get the idea; the imperative to protect our children. I just don’t believe death is something to be protected from. At this point in time, 109 Billion humans have gone through the portal known as death.
Death, as they say, is the only certainty in life.
Things as certain as death and taxes, can be more firmly believ’d.
Speaking of taxes. I managed to get drawn into a conversation about taxes, with my son on the drive down.
Why he was wondering who paid for the hospitals I do not know, but wondering he was.
I quickly had to decide whether I give him the leftist-leaning take that the Conservative party are a bunch o’ bastards. Basically, they are individuals who have the temerity to believe that the rich deserve to be rich whilst the poor deserve to be poor. A case, if you believe them, of money being ushered to where it’s morally correct.
The left-leaning take is probably the one I’m most sympathetic to, but rather than present my opinion I thought it more important to stay neutral and leave space for his own sentiments to emerge.
So, avoiding any craic about the NHS being purposefully run into the ground in order to make privatisation the only workable solution, I thought I’d just stick to the most basic tax story and see what he made of it.
If you go to work and get paid £100 you have to give the Government £20.
If everyone pays their £20 that makes a lot of money
Lots of money is needed because armies, schools and hospitals cost a lot to run
He always has some surprising insight into things I continually and mistakingly consider too complicated for him, and taxes was no exception. His response was a question followed by his workings out, “Why don’t the rich people pay more? Because for them it isn’t a lot of money”
Personally, I think that’s a very observant and piercing insight for an eight-year-old to have. At the same time, I’m not surprised by the moral clarity that only a child could bring to such a seemingly complicated societal issue.
There will be those of course who dismiss this as nothing more than the naivety of childhood. Make no mistake, those people are lost. And just like a man who refuses to ask for directions because of fear that he’ll look incompetent, humanity is currently in the denial stage of its lostness.
It troubles me that we no longer listen to our children, but as chance will have it, we have an ‘adult’ voice saying the same thing this week. A voice that people will actually listen to, the boss of Shell…
"One way or another there needs to be government intervention that somehow results in protecting the poorest," - Shell Chief Executive Officer Ben van Beurden
This leads me to my second point…you remember, why I’m proud and lucky to have a female readership. Women & children are two groups the world is not equipped to listen to (yet).
I just want to say thanks for being here. Reading my words. Being kind enough to accept the gaps in my gaps in understanding. As a man, I can’t speak for women of course but I can at least hold the mirror up so that you can see your own Majestic qualities.
Maybe as a man, I should be directing my efforts at other men. Certainly, men are both at the helm and amongst the most lost in society right now.
However, as my audience isn’t male I’d be wasting my time and besides which I don’t see that as my path.
Maybe it was because I grew up with my brother who had down syndrome that I feel passionate about and focused on, those without a voice in society.
Deep thoughts from me, as always 🤣 but I’d love to hear your own deep or flippant thoughts…just whatever is stirring in you today.
Drop me a line or leave a comment.
👏🏻 beautiful writing ✍️💗✨📖
Brilliant! As always 🤩