3 Little Words
How are you?
3 Little Words
It’s Mother’s Day here in the UK today.
A day when three little words explode onto homemade cards up and down these islands.
Happy
Mother's
Day
and, of course…
I
Love
You
It’s curious to me that three other little words aren’t also a mainstay of the day.
Wouldn’t it be a great day to check in on mums wherever they may be with the three words…
How
Are
You?
How are you
How are you is such a throwaway phrase.
It’s used as the most casual of greetings. It would be a rare day indeed to meet someone genuinely interested in your holy answer.
Granted, you might need more space than a day, or a lifetime, to land on an answer but it’s still grounding to know that there are people in the world who care enough to ask.
Jean Venus
My mother's been dead a good few years, God bless her, and I’m not sure I can hand-on-heart say I asked her that serious of all questions.
As a teen, I probably unceremoniously threw a Mother's Day card in her direction.
No doubt emblazoned with, 'World’s Best Mum', or 'Love to a Wonderful Mother' if I was being particularly sentimental.
To be fair, my mother didn’t like a fuss, but that’s all the more reason to check in and ask.
She couldn’t deal with affection actually. My niece would give her a hug and a squeeze, and you’d hear her laugh and squirm out the words, "Howay man Ashleigh…what are you slathering on for!". Meaning it was way over the top.
The love language in our house wasn’t touch or affection.
It was very much 'Acts of service and it’s certainly where I default to.
Whether you liked the crusts cut off your sandwiches or you had to have your drink with a straw…or maybe you absolutely had to have six Yorkshire puddings with your Sunday dinner…my mother always over-delivered.
A recent Facebook message from a childhood friend who emigrated to the States, "I always remember your mother's toast! It was THE best!!".
Whether it was the extra care and attention, or whether it was the extra dollop of butter, and likely a combination of both, my mother managed to infuse everything with love.
I used to do mad things like put bricks in my rucksack to go running…maybe I’d seen it in a Rocky film or something…she'd look at me and say;
"If you're reet lad, I'll eat hay with a donkey" - Jean Venus
World of Mirrors
In the world of mirrors, where we are all holding mirrors up for each other, it was soothing and reassuring to hear that a slightly crazy 'me’ was running free-range out in the world.
In a world where we’re trying not to judge each other, it was good to be judged to the core and be accepted all the way down and back up again.
I Love You
We're very quick to sprinkle 'I Love U' over our most complicated relationships, and we’re told Love is as deep as it gets. That might be so but it doesn't even begin to encapsulate the depths of how we find ourselves in relation to the human that birthed us.
We don’t always love our mothers or it might feel fraudulent to love a person much bigger in scope than you.
But we can at least always ask how someone is doing. That’s my hope.
'How are you mother, In your heart and in your soul?'
How are you on the paths and how are you lost in the wilderness?
How low is the well from which you drink?
If you're waiting for someone to ask you these questions, perhaps you would consider this the asking.
Thank you for reading my poem, my mother’s day meditation. I like to feel, these meditations are part of my conversation with the late John Moriarty.
How are ye, mother?
I've still need to have a listen to this Moriarty. I have a tab open with the video you linked. (It is 1 of 481 tabs.) 😂
How am I? Actually much better today. The chiropractor seems to have cajoled my spine back into place and we were able to do a tiny bit of gardening and put some seeds in the ground. The fresh air smells like hope. 🌾
Thanks for asking. How are you? 🍃